I have a blog? Oh yeah...

Once upon a time there was a bright-eyed, newly minted graduate of the University of Utah who decided it would be a good idea to write about travels, political philosophy, and the workings of the international realm.

Yeah...that lasted all of three months.

There have been many times where I've opened this blog to write. To muse about various travels around the world. To ponder the implications of the Arab Spring. And to wonder at a world that possesses so much evil yet achieves so much beauty. And then the reality of my life sets in.

There's work.

There's another deadline.

There's another simulation to write.

Another moot court practice.

Another student event to plan.

Another professor to meet with.

Another article to edit.

Another book chapter to research.

Another job application (to ignore).

And apparently there's this thing called class that I'm supposed to go to as well.

(Notice the absence of any social activities in there?)

In the midst  all of the insanity, however, remains a longing to write. To muse. To look back on how incredibly busy, but how incredibly amazing the past few years have been.

So let's start with a recap.

Last time I updated this blog I was living in Brussels, Belgium, interning with the U.S. Mission to NATO. I. Loved. That. Job. It was that job that more than anything put me on the current career path (or at least, for the prospective career path and dream job that I hope to hear about soon--more on that later). I spent my days immersed in the world of diplomacy and practical politics, striving to bring some order to a chaotic world through the use of simple words.

While I was there I went to:

Paris (see previously)

Alghero

 Evening spent walking around the port area.

 Very cool system of caves.

I'm on a boat! (Yeah...that would have been funny in 2009)

Rome (for my 24th birthday!)

 The Vatican

 The Coliseum 

And I HAVE to include this photo as I have a picture of me standing next to this same sphinx from when I was 8 years old. 

The United Kingdom

 Quintessential London.

 Where my Hard Rock obsession all began (ask to see my guitar strap full of hard rock pins sometime).

Hanging out at Caswell Bay (the beach by my house in Wales as a child)

Yeah...I can't read it either.

Bruges (or Brugge if you're Flemish)

Swans!

Horse drawn carriages throughout the streets.

Checking out the ice sculpture festival.

Yet that was just the beginning. After leaving Brussels I flew to Egypt to meet my parents rather than flying straight home. If you know me at all, you know that Egypt is the trip of a lifetime. I'm slightly (okay, maybe really) obsessed with ancient Egypt. It deserves a full discussion all of its own. Alas, this shall have to suffice.

The Nile at Night.

If you need to ask what these are we can't be friends.

My dad's face is just awesome in this picture. It was nap time.

Sailing on the Nile.

Karnak at night.

Towering columns of ancient past.

Funerary monument of Hatsheput. 

Luxor (obviously not the Vegas hotel).

Temple of Ramses III.

Sigh. A return trip when be in order when order returns to Egypt. I held such high hopes for the Arab Spring. The thought of a nation achieving freedom from tyranny through non-violence! Alas, that has fallen into a distant ideal and dream of the past, with power creeping in and corrupting even the purest hope.

So what happened after I returned home? Well. I worked. And finished up an anthropology degree. And worked some more. And that's that. Not much more needs to be said about that period in my life.

And then I started law school.

Looking at that statement now is both over and underwhelming. The past two and half years have flown by. Each time I think that law school can't get any more insane, another project is added on.

But let's walk through the basics.

First, I met these people:

The Real World: Law Edition

I can hear the opening title now. Seven strangers, all living under one roof pursuing the study of law. We're about to see what happens when people start getting real. Cut to scenes of people studying. Oh wait...it looks like they're switching from contracts to civ pro! I'm not sure I can handle the excitement and drama, oh my!

Then, I ended up with her:

Say hello to Tiamat, aka, monster and stinker. She's deceptively adorable. 

 And for today I'm ending there (super cute kitties are always a good note to end on).

It turns out I still have two simulations to write, and draft to start, book chapters to read, and maybe sleep at some point.

Yet, this writing will continue. The part of me that longs for release through the written word has not been sated. And even when things seem difficult, it always helps to look back and see how glorious life really is.

Philosophy at Work

Oh silly, silly world. How you depress me at me times. I strive to see the beauty and goodness that come from life, yet it seems as though I am constantly bombarded with the darkness that resides within us all. Oh let the philosophers argue...are we inherently good, are we inherently evil? When it comes down to it, I believe that everyone has the capacity for both...but it is a choice that sets the lightness apart from the dark.

War of course tends to bring out the worst of mankind. Those fighting are pushed to the limits of their emotional, mental, and physical capabilities, causing lapses of a rational mind and judgement. Even when these soldiers return home, things are not the same for them before they left. War steals the innocence and ideals of youth and replaces them with a cynicism of the nature of mankind. Rational even gets pushed to the side at the prospect of going to war, as was so graphically illustrated yesterday in Texas. As if these men and women don't have enough issues to deal with...

If anything, working at NATO has opened my eyes to the war going on in Afghanistan. I feel as though us Americans have had this war hidden from us since 2003, when the attention of our focus was shifted to Iraq. Now, we forget the fact that we still have over 100,000 troops in Iraq and turn our heads towards Afghanistan, and watch as the country continues to tear itself apart.

I used to feel hope for Afghanistan. Now I feel apprehension.

It does not help that I get to spend some of my days pouring over troop and casualty numbers. Every number that I read represents someones son, brother, husband, or friend. And here I am converting them into a statistic that can be used for speeches, an attempt to convey to people the cost that is being paid. Five soldiers killed by an ANP officer...add them to the list. Two soldiers killed by an IED...add them to the list. It goes on and on, day after day. These past few weeks have been particularly brutal in that area.

I can tell you which country has the highest ration of causalities to troops (Canada, with 46 out of every 1000 troops being killed.) I can tell you which countries contribute the most and which countries contribute the least as far as their military capabilities are concerned (Turkey doesn't help nearly enough...they have the third largest army of allied members at NATO yet contribute 600-800 soldiers to ISAF.) My head is swimming with these facts and numbers by the end of the day, and they are not easily forgotten.

On the reverse side of this, I research the so-called feel good stories that are also coming out of Afghanistan. Farmers are given the resources to grow saffron rather than opium. Women are given the opportunity to have their own governmental meetings and move towards equality. New educational centers are built so literacy rates can be improved across the country. Soldiers work together with the Afghan police and army to try to train them to be capable of one day protecting their own sovereignty. Yet somehow these feel good stories are always left with a shadow of the reminder of the price of life that is being paid everyday for Afghani freedom.

I hate to feel as there is so much darkness and hopelessness in a country that can offer so much cultural beauty. It is a constant argument between my rational mind and my idealistic heart. However, one story that comes to mind when I look at these stories and feel darkness is that of a cultural study that took place in concentration camps during World War II. These were where some of the greatest crimes against humanity were committed, and should be the last place where any trace of light should be found. Yet, even in the dark hovels of the death camps, light was able to emerge. Stories emerged of prisoners sharing rations with the sick, of prisoners going without food for the chance to read from a Bible, and of prisoners even making chess pieces from bread to occupy their minds with something other than the pain and form more social bonds through games. We so often forget about these little remnants of light that remained in the darkest hours of our history. Yet it is these little remnants of light that remind me once again it is our choice to either accept goodness or to accept evil.

We are on the brink of change in Afghanistan. We will either fail, or we will succeed, but there is no in between. However, as long as there are smaller glimmers of light that remain in the darkness that is Afghanistan, I can continue to feel some hope in my heart, though the apprehension will continue in my rational mind.

C'est Paris!

Wow I'm a slacker at keeping my blog updated. And even now I'm only writing because I have nothing to do today at work. This is going to be another one of those days where I'm going to be very, very tempted to leave early. Alas, I shall stay.

So as stated before, I like to travel. This certainly has been the case over the past month. I've managed to go to Paris, Alghero, and Rome in the past five weeks. Today I'll be departing for merry ol' England. There is a definite sense of returning home with this next trip. Oh London, it's been 16 years since I saw you last...how I can't wait to see you again. However, my experiences with castles, museums, and the general awesomeness that is the UK will obviously have to wait until after my trip. This is to simply recall where I have been so far (minus Rome because those pictures are all at home :) )

First up, Paris!

My last recollections of Paris come from very vague remembrances of my eight year old mind. The main thing I remember...I hated Paris. The people where rude simply because my family was (and still is) American. Il est une American? Tres degoutant! Pshah. The only thing I actually remember even liking was getting fresh chocolate baguettes from the boulangerie in the morning. I really had no desire to return, but alas, the call of the LSAT made me venture south.

Arriving in Paris at first confirmed the dislikes of my childhood. The train station smelled like urine, the train got in late, and the man at the reception desk at the hotel refused to speak English. Really, why would you work at a large international hotel if you don't speak English! Needless to say, I was cranky with Paris.

My first day was totally occupied by the LSAT. Sleep in, relax, do a few warm up questions, etc. I had the slowest test proctors possible though. First, we start half an hour late due to the fact some guy was running behind and had some special exception to get there late. Then, the silly proctors went around and finger printed each person one by one and their desks. Why oh why didn't they just do that at check in? Whatever...I came, I saw, I LSATed, and that is all that needs to be said about that.

Post-LSAT time consisted of venturing over to see that wonderful phallic symbol known as the Eiffel Tower. Silly French, always trying to compensate for things. It's also slightly sickening as to how much Paris really is the city of "romance." Or at least a little annoying. However, Paris at night is still a sight to see. The City of Lights truly is magnificent at night. There are people out every where, a stark contrast from the more conservative culture of Brussels. It has a distinct pulse that continues well into the wee hours of the morning.


Sunday was a whirlwind of a day. The day started with a trip to the boulangerie for some wonderful fresh pastries. Really, it would be a sin to go to Paris and not go to a boulengerie. The the journey started over to Notre Dame. I have slight recollections of Notre Dame from when I was young...snow was falling and the air was bitterly cold. There could not have been a more stark contrast than the beautiful, warm, sunny morning that I was able to experience this time around. A trip to Paris would also not be complete without eating some fresh crepes, in this case, at a cafe right next to Notre Dame.

And then on to the Louvre. Instead of going the more traditional route down the river, we wandered up to the Modern Art Museum just to see the building. The entire outside is covered with pipes...totally random, but it works. The city was filled with old architectural wonders and gardens that made it a joy to walk through.


And of course, as with any big city, you get some crazy people. In this case there was a man outside of the Modern Art Museum who was smoking at least 5 cigarettes at once and eating razor blades. Me thinks he needs to be the spokesperson for the truth about tobacco.

And the Louvre...oh the Louvre. I already wrote extensively about that, so not much more needs to be said. But oh how I love the Louvre.

As if we hadn't done enough walking for the day, we decided to wander over to the Arc du Triumph. If you've never been to Paris then you can't understand the ridiculous amount of stairs that its Metro system has. In between the Louvre and the Metro, well, I don't know how much I walked but it was a ridiculous amount.

A long day, but a fantastic day. I came to Paris hating it and left with a new found appreciation. I still hate French diplomats though. I don't that will ever change.

Work work work

I love work.

Seriously.

Today reminded me of why I am here, and why I love international relations.

I certainly have been discouraged these past few weeks with the lack of work that I have had, and the lack of opportunities that I have searched tirelessly for.

However, today was everything that I could have hoped for and more.

Let's be honest, I was just happy to actually have some work to do in the morning, even if it was just stapling together bios for the conference today.

This afternoon, even better. The European POL/MIL Conference has brought in many of the US ambassadors to European countries, and all have come to share their opinions and insights to the most pressing international issues. The first topic of discussion...Iran and nuclear disarmament. This of course brought in discussion of missile defense and the new policies that have been put in place with regards to the new plans set forth by the United States. It took awhile for it to sink in that these are the people who make the decisions that affect our foreign policy. When they discuss sanctions, they are not talking theoretically. Rather, these are the people that have the power to implement the recommendations that take place in these rooms.

Next topic of discussion...Afghanistan. These issues are not skirted around. Rather, discussion is frank and the points are made that change needs to happen for this war to be successful. The discussion so easily flows between so many pressing issues...enlargement within NATO, changes in Afghanistan, issues with Russia, anything (for the most part) goes.

And here I am, sitting in a room with some of the top political minds in the world.

The Deputy Director of the US Mission to NATO makes sure to personally introduce us little interns that any one he is talking to. I get to meet top ranking officers from offices from Ankara to Dublin. Listening to these debates makes me giddy. I'm not even kidding. Model simulations were always my favorite part of my poli sci classes, and watching them in action is no exception. It even made me smile to see the Secretary General of NATO stumble of the name for FYROM, an issue I love to argue due to my short stint as the wanna be Head of Government of Greece. This has renewed my desire to get involved with diplomacy in the future. This what I want to do with my life, I am sure.

And to think that things couldn't get any better, I got to return to Truman Hall for dinner after the conference with all the other diplomats. Going to Truman Hall is in itself a treat...it's a gorgeous building. But then who did I get to have dinner with? Dan Rooney, the US Ambassador to Ireland and owner of the Pittsburg Steelers. Did I ever mention that I'm a Steelers fan?

Tomorrow I have to choose between sitting in on a meeting about missile defense or a conference seminar on the war on Afghanistan.

I. Love. It.

Reflections Through the Louvre

It is revitalizing to walk through the halls that echo of achievements past. It is here we see the remnants of man's past triumphs. The growth of man is cataloged, starting ancient empires that left their mark forever upon the world. The rise and fall of power reverberates, with each structure marking the immense strength that a leader has, while still reminding us that even the greatest of kings eventually falls. It is filled with the often forgotten genius and creativity that is seeded within us all, that genius which is so often blocked out by a lazy mind unwilling to leave the world it is so accustomed to. It is a record of where we have been, and a reminder that we have much to live up in our future.

It is here that all those emotions, fears, and beliefs are chiseled out and set in stone. They are fleshed out onto canvas and realized with broad strokes of a brush. We are reminded of the foundations of where our western civilization has come from, though it is often that we forget the morals and stories that shaped our ideals that we have today. Our fear of reaching for the sun, for reaching for enlightenment is echoed in Prometheus, set to the daily torture after stealing fire for mankind and bringing light to the world. So many seem to shy away from success now rather than striving for it. Is it that we now are scared to be doomed to eternal torment? Are we afraid that we will be faced with our own eagle, having our livers torn out and eaten every day? But why should we be so afraid? Even Prometheus was set free from what was supposed to be damnation.

Ah, and the heroes that we are reminded of. The classic hero, always so noble and just, yet always so human to us due to a tragic flaw. They represented the best aspects of man, but also showed that, they were in fact, just men, flawed as we all are. They are the ones who set us free from our chains and bondage, yet in the end, are often chained themselves. It is they who face the monsters that plague the cities and cause weaker men to flee. It is they who slay the serpents, yet in the end they are toppled by inner monsters that they themselves cannot master. Heracles so exemplified these traits, confronted by internal demons he could not face and was eventually chained by the blood of one who he conquered. He suffered agonizing pain, not fully being able to live, but not being able to die due to his divine heritage. At least we don't have it that bad. But even then, in the end, he was set free. Notice the trend?

It is certain that we all feel as though we have the weight of the world upon our shoulders. But how can we ever feel bad about the load we bear when compared to Atlas, the titan given the task of balancing the world on his back for the rest of time. We at least have the option to lift our loads, knowing that all burdens we have are temporary. We even have the comfort of knowing that in most cases we do not have to bear our seemingly overwhelming loads on our own. We do not face a future of torment as this poor Titan did, who only ever received one brief moment of rest. Rather, we are given the option of freedom and enlightenment.

The emergence of man from his dark ages is reflected in this halls. The enlightenment of our minds can be once again shown through the masters. Show me another who can paint an angel with the same innocence of Botticelli. Show me another that could paint the human form with the same scientific accuracy and grace as Da Vinci. Show me another who could reflect the world with colors as vibrant as those found in the paintings of Raphael. Ah to once again see and appreciate the beauty of life again! And show me another who could so masterfully craft the pain and suffering of a slave into cold marble as Michaelangelo. This cold stone is made so feeling under masterful hands, an inner pain emanating out from the icy white marble. It is so hauntingly beautiful, echoing the pain of oppression that still runs rampant in this world.

We so often forget to see the beauty in this life. It is lost in the shadows of self doubt and uncertainty. Its voice gets lost in the discord that comes from inequalities and atrocities against man kind that rage unchecked. We have seemingly returned to our natural state, unrestrained by a Leviathan that would restore order where there seemingly is none. We set neighbor against neighbor, man against man, claiming that no peace can be found in our differences. We fight cultural wars against those who are different, claiming those who do not have our shared beliefs are uncivilized and barbaric. How many realize that the first set of laws originated in these so called barbaric states though? How many take the time to examine the similarities rather than the differences? How many employ the logos, the rational that they claim to have when hurling hate filled words at those whose only crime is to be from a different ethnic group? Perhaps our Leviathan could be found and ordered restored if we took the time to consider the foundations of law that we all come from.

And finally, in the true bohemian fashion (as is so fitting, especially to Paris,) what would this world be without love? I am one who argues for the rationale side of things, demanding logic in all situations. However, I also equally recognize that I cannot get through this life without passion. How can the cynics ignore what has been celebrated in so many great works of art and heralded by so many, ranging from ancient sculptures to the musings of the masters of words? I do not agree that law must indeed be passion free in order to be reasonable. Rather, it is at its best when these elements are combined, appealing to both logic and emotion. After all, law is not something that is static. Rather, it is a dynamic force that grows and evolves with man, just as the works of art at this museum have reflected the creative genius that has grown and evolved over thousands of years.

Thank You Mr. President

Thank you, thank you, thank you to the American public for once again restoring a sense of eloquence, rhetoric, and cooperation to the White House. Here are a few excerpts from President Obama's speech to the United Nation's Assembly yesterday. If you get a chance, you should read the whole speech. It is well worth the read.

Like all of you, my responsibility is to act in the interest of my nation and my people (yay realism), and I will never apologize for defending those interests. But it is my deeply held belief that in the year 2009 – more than at any point in human history – the interests of nations and peoples are shared.

The religious convictions that we hold in our hearts can forge new bonds among people, or tear us apart. The technology we harness can light the path to peace, or forever darken it. The energy we use can sustain our planet, or destroy it. What happens to the hope of a single child – anywhere – can enrich our world, or impoverish it.

In this hall, we come from many places, but we share a common future. No longer do we have the luxury of indulging our differences to the exclusion of the work that we must do together. I have carried this message from London to Ankara; from Port of Spain to Moscow; from Accra to Cairo; and it’s what I will speak about today. Because the time has come for the world to move in a new direction. We must embrace a new era of engagement based on mutual interests and mutual respect, and our work must begin now.

Some of our actions have yielded progress. Some have laid the groundwork for progress in the future. But make no mistake: this cannot be solely America’s endeavor. Those who used to chastise America for acting alone in the world cannot now stand by and wait for America to solve the world’s problems alone. We have sought – in word and deed – a new era of engagement with the world. Now is the time for all of us to take our share of responsibility for a global response to global challenges.

If we are honest with ourselves, we need to admit that we are not living up to that responsibility. Consider the course that we are on if we fail to confront the status quo. Extremists sowing terror in pockets of the world. Protracted conflicts that grind on and on. Genocide and mass atrocities. More and more nations with nuclear weapons. Melting ice caps and ravaged populations. Persistent poverty and pandemic disease. I say this not to sow fear, but to state a fact: the magnitude of our challenges has yet to be met by the measure of our action.

This body was founded on the belief that the nations of the world could solve their problems together. Franklin Roosevelt, who died before he could see his vision for this institution become a reality, put it this way – and I quote: “The structure of world peace cannot be the work of one man, or one party, or one Nation…. It cannot be a peace of large nations – or of small nations. It must be a peace which rests on the cooperative effort of the whole world.”

The cooperative effort of the whole world. Those words ring even more true today, when it is not simply peace – but our very health and prosperity that we hold in common. Yet I also know that this body is made up of sovereign states. And sadly, but not surprisingly, this body has often become a forum for sowing discord instead of forging common ground; a venue for playing politics and exploiting grievances rather than solving problems. After all, it is easy to walk up to this podium and to point fingers and stoke division. Nothing is easier than blaming others for our troubles, and absolving ourselves of responsibility for our choices and our actions. Anyone can do that.

The choice is ours. We can be remembered as a generation that chose to drag the arguments of the 20th century into the 21st; that put off hard choices, refused to look ahead, and failed to keep pace because we defined ourselves by what we were against instead of what we were for. Or, we can be a generation that chooses to see the shoreline beyond the rough waters ahead; that comes together to serve the common interests of human beings, and finally gives meaning to the promise embedded in the name given to this institution: the United Nations.

Of course Ahmadinejad had to throw in a few jabs in his speech...seriously, who keeps on giving him a platform on which to speak? Yes, I understand that we need to have engagement with Iran...it's just unfornate that it has to be with a man whose own claims to legitimate power are questionable. Deny that there was voter fraud in the Iranian elections all you want sir, but yours is a voice that gets lost in the wind when speaking about true democracy.

I love the fact that reading up on these issues is part of what I do at work. I knew there was a reason I decided to go into diplomacy rather than stick with Communication/Engineering. I always forget that I was a Comm major once upon a time...thank goodness I switched to Political Science and Anthropology instead.

For Your Consideration

Oh what random conversations at lunch can lead to when one is bored and has nothing to do in the afternoon...

Dear Mr. President,

I have a deep appreciation for your dedication to college students getting out and serving their country through military involvement and community service. You have encouraged us to do good and use our potential for the betterment of America, and have placed an emphasis upon education for all. You recognize that we are, in fact, the future of this country, and will be the minds running America in the years to come.

However, your decisions out of Washington over this past week have put me in a slight predicament.

The announcement of a change in missile defense tactics drastically changed my introduction to my internship at USNATO, you see. Instead of briefing me on my first day, my adviser was too busy making calls to the Czechs and Washington. This was the same Tuesday through Thursday. I hear bits and blurbs, but the timing leaves me an outsider, deprived of a golden opportunity.

Instead of being able to learn from those who forge and build our relations concerning other member states of NATO, I am left to my own devices. I am left reading Newsweek, The Economist, The New York Times, CNN, MSNBC, The Wall Street Journal, and whatever publication I can think of to pass my time, trying to scrape for information concerning missile defense and other matters. But sadly, foreign affairs only take up so much space of the news. Then I am left with the dealings of starlets and oh-my-god-did-you-see-what-she-was-wearing and did-you-hear-that-so-and-so-lost-her-dog? I am sure there are many that can relate to my frustration of this information actually being considered news.

I have spent my time looking at each individual link for the websites of NATO and USNATO, trying to learn all that I can about an organization that I spend a majority of my day in. I have read about Afghanistan, Uzbekistan, and I don't even know how many other stans. I am even encouraged to get on Facebook...yes Facebook, while at work to critique the USNATO Facebook page.

I research various military projects and issues concerning defense, all in the hopes that they may actually apply to what I'll be doing in the future. I have read the recent articles about UAVs, with specfic consideration to the Predator and the Hummingbird. I have read about the capabilities of the F-22 and the F-35 and read all the debates concerning funding. I read various scientific publications catching up on the latest advances in nanotechnology and defense. I devour information concerning electronic warfare and the technological evolution of the wars that are fought.

But alas, what good does all this research do for me if I am not given the opportunity to apply it to a real world situation?

Couldn't you have waited just one week to make this announcement Mr. President? The Czechs asked for prudence and regard for their elections. I just ask for regard to my internship and education in the world of practical politics. As a potential future employee of the foreign services, I am being with held from an education and introduction that I could receive no where else. You have encouraged us to learn and make the most of our futures, showing us all that we have an unbounded potential. Yet I am restrained by the decisions that originate from the source that also encourages my success.

I try to advance my own education. I offer to do anything. Run memos, make coffee, do whatever it takes. All I am told is to just keep researching whatever I wish, I'm doing just fine.

I am hopeful that this all will soon change and that this is just a temporary predicatment. Until then, I shall continue with my researching, researching, and more researching.

Sincerely,

Lauren Hansen